Monday, January 19, 2015

I'm still fat.

Despite all the efforts, I am still fat. Actually I am fatter than when I started this blog.

190 lbs.
Chest: 41"
Waist: 33.75"
Hips: 44.5"

199 lbs.
Chest: 43"
Waist: 35"
Hips: 45.3"

My problem?  Well, I have several.

  1. I rarely finish anything I start. P90x = nope. Advocare 24 day challenge = yes, but only for those 24 days and I didn't give 100%. YMCA membership = sparingly and definitely not enough to yield results. Paleo eating = only at dinner and probably only 3 times a week (but that's better than never).
SOLUTION: Pick ONE things to stick to for 30 days then reevaluate. 30 days is doable.
  1. I don't move. For Christmas this year, my loving mother gave me a Fitbit. It motivated me for the first two weeks and now it just screams "See how lazy you are!". I average 2500 steps per day which equals about a mile. It's pretty much less than sedentary. It's 60 steps from my front door to my bedroom to give you perspective. 2500 steps is nothing.
SOLUTION: Stop being mad at the Fitbit and embrace it.
  1. What I eat has improved, but how much I eat still needs some work. For me to maintain my weight at my "sit on my fat ass" active level, I can only eat 1839 calories per day. The average "normal weight" woman consumes 1940 calories per day. I eat less than the average. WHAT? In order to be lazy I need to lower my calorie intake to less than 1500 calories which I have actually tried. I can maintain it for around five days then my body screams and I eat everything in sight. 
SOLUTION: Try 1600 per day with a cheat day.
  1. Hear me all you twenty-somethings! Losing weight in your 30s is much harder than losing it in your twenties. I know, I didn't believe it either back then and thought I had all the time in the world to lose the weight, but unfortunately it is very true. Here's the proof: At 20, I got down to 151 lbs just by running one single mile per day three times a week. I didn't even change my eating habits. I was trying to get the attention of a guy at the gym and thought I might as well workout while I was there. In three months I lost 25 lbs. At 26, I cut my calories to 1800 per day (yep, what I do right now) and dropped 20 lbs. That was over five months, but still pretty dang good. I am 32 and I have been maintaining an 1800 calories per day average since October (3 months) and have only lost 4 lbs. 
SOLUTION: Stop being mad at yourself for gaining the weight back and make sure you aren't still dealing with this at 40. If it's hard now, just imagine.
  1. It's all my mama's fault! Yes, genetics do play a role and environmental plays an even bigger role. When I was a fat kid at fourteen, I wanted to lose weight so mom would include a case of Diet Pepsi with the several boxes of Swiss Cake Rolls she bought me. Umm, thanks. Guess what? She moved in with me a year and a half ago and still makes weight loss difficult. Do you know how hard it is to reject a box of Girl Scout cookies when they have already been opened and handed to you? To her food makes me happy and she wants me to be happy. To me, it feels like sabotage. I ask for "bad" foods to not enter our kitchen (she can keep her stash in her room), because at the end of some days my willpower is completely drained. She doesn't respect my request and keeps trying to make me happy with food. I have no solution for this except to make my willpower stronger. 
SOLUTION: Be strong then celebrate... each and every time it occurs. Accept that it's not going to stop because Mom clearly has her own food issues.

I am hoping to update more regularly here and use it more as a journal. I need to get to the bottom of my blocks and emotional attachment to food. That is the only way I am going to win at this long-term. 

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